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Sitting in my apartment in New York, I snapped out of my reverie, realizing how that he was right. Though I did get stressed out at school and I wasn’t going to whitewash those hard moments in gilded hindsight, I was nostalgic. Those times were stressful but always safe. A paper here, a quiz to cram for there, but in the end it was a system, and I worked well in a system. To so many people, school was a great big map of options and they were perpetually lost. But I was great with maps. I knew how to navigate and always get where I needed to be.

But, of course, life post-school has no atlas, especially here. So I sometimes longed for the coziness of a calendar locking grids, or a syllabus’s directives, and hoped one day I could figure out what that might be. But when you’re a grown-up, those directives have to come from yourself, and though what I wanted to do was still a blur, reconnecting with something that got me psyched up and feeling alive would be a step in the right direction

From Momzillas

Posted on October 16th, 2007 by The Prince
Filed under: Kargman, Jill